Feeling like a boss!

 Dating!

 The first time we meet!

 Our first hug??

Just got home after a round of mahjong + supper, yup its mahjong again! Since I don’t have a gf now, my life is revolving around mahjong and work only I guess? Anyway I had a satisfying supper even thou I don’t have frog porridge to satisfy my cravings, I substitute it with a nice cheap piping hot duck porridge, so results equals to….FEELING LIKE A BOSS!! Haha..

Right now time is 5am as I am typing this blog post, I wonder what am I going to do when I wake up from my sleep later, should I head to my store or should I just stay home to nua the whole day since my body condition is not 100% in tip top condition yet. I need to take care of my body, if not later my BFF is going to come find me soon.

I did something this noon that I not sure is it a correct move, I message my boss and tell him that I am actually ok to go back and work on my off days, if need me can always inform me and cancel my off days. When I told him that, I not sure what is going through my mind also, even though he told me he will inform me if he need me back at work, I got a feeling high chance I won’t get recalled back to work.

Few days ago my ex fling contacted me out of nowhere ask me what block I stay, she told me that she is at sembawang for some friend birthday or something. Then throughout the day we exchanged quite a few message as I was busy with my work also, then I realized something. I realized that every time when I and her message, its very easy the content of the message will slowly become like she will start to say something like miss meeting up with me etc and when am I going to meet her. Not to be thick skin or what, I think if I want to meet her anytime she sure make it free to meet me, but the thing is I don’t want to give her a wrong impression. To me I am only treating her now as a friend, not a fling partner or anything, that’s why I always scare that I will give her the wrong idea.
As much as I am feeling very empty and lonely now, I know that I cannot treat her as a substitute to you because it’s a big wrong thing to do that. In the past maybe I don’t care so much about treating another person as a substitute, but now I know that I shouldn’t do it anymore. If I am not ready for a relationship, I should not just jump straight in. At this moment, I know that I still love you and my mind still keep thinking about you, every night I worry about how are you, how is your ulcer, did you wake up on time for your attachment etc. Many times I got a sudden urge to give you morning call to wake up for work, but I know that I can’t do it because you are not my gf anymore, I will be like a ass if I am like giving morning call everyday to another person gf.

Girl, I might not treat you well like how chia treat you now, but I know one thing for sure is that I have gone through the pain of losing you away, no one can feel it better then I do and if given a chance I definitely will cherish you and love you no lesser then how chia love you now. I know its already too late for me to regret now, but well…there is nothing I can do now except ranting on my this ranting ground now… oh well…