Back again!

hey! I m back at the hospital for another 9 days for the second period of my medicine study! The 5 days that I get to spent outside passed so fast and a blink of an eye I m back here at the same place to stuck for another 9 days, hopefully this 9 days can pass as fast as the previous period stay in.

Today wake up quite early in the morning went for breakfast then head to ECP to "help-out" in alex day event. Not a must to go down but I still decided to go down because next week I m the in-charge for one of the days, so need to roughly know how is the whole thing being run etc.. But well..I went down a alittle too late, even thou I still managed to spent about 2hrs at east coast, but I missed out the most important part which is briefing the participants etc.. Hope I don't screw up on the day that I work..!

Alot of plans is going through my mind everyday and mainly is in terms of working, managing my finance etc.. I had already cut down on my gambling already, I mean seriously cut down alot.. I am slowly learning to refrain myself from gambling and even if I really gamble, I limit myself to a certain and stick with it... I just wish that when december come, my finance will be so much better then now..

Last night!

Today is finally the last night of the 9days stay-in for period 1!! The past one week plus has been staying at the hospital doing nothing much, everyday can only crave to go out and enjoy when the 9days stay-in ended.. I seriously need sun to make me feel healthier and less sinful, and another important is that I miss my son Lam nua! haha.. Still considering whether to bring my son for the next 3 period stay-in anot..

Hmm..everyday I see you online, it makes me feel like talking to you yet I do not know how should I bring myself to talk to you. Like a usual bad habbit of me, alot of times I regretted not cherishing something when it is no longer in my possession anymore, it has been a bad habbit since two years ago and untill now I still facing the same problem. Many times we always wish that we could rewind the time back, thinking how can we improve the situation back then, not making silly mistakes and stuff... but haiz...its easy to say but it is always too late to regret it..

When you first entered NUS that time, many of my friend asked me, "hey your gf now in NUS, are you scared of her running away with another guy?", at that time I will always jokingly say that its not impossible coz I know how much you love me even thou I have difficulty gaining your trust back again, but never did I expected 2months after you start school, we have already broke off, thou I know its all mainly my fault and you have never done anything wrong to me. I guess many things really can happened in a few months time, be it good or bad...

It's my loss not to have you as my gf anymore and I can't stop feeling guilty/sinful on and off when I am alone, thinking how I disappoint you time and time again... One year 5months definitely mean something to me, even thou I didnt cherish it as much as you do, but defintiely it leave a deep impact in me also.. Until now, I still misses u at times, really.. Whenever I miss you, I can only look at my son and smile silly to it.. It sound stupid but ya, it will just make me feel better when I hug lam nua.. I don't know how are you coping with the break up till now, hopefully I am able to get over it soon bah..

With a loss comes a gain also, at least now I can really work all the way I want without worrying much since alot of my friends has already left me, I got so much time now for me to work and reach my target of clearing all my debts away.. At the same time I m also trying to quit gambling in soccer untill I m in a better financial state.. So please pray that I am able carry on stop gambling!

Hectic October!

-_-"


Taken in the hospital!

I am currently in another medicine study again!! Tonight is the second last night before I get discharged from the hospital after staying for like 7days already? Luckily this 9 days stay-in passed much faster then I expected, so much better then my previous study which is 16 days long.. ZZzzz.. But well, I still got 3 more period of this 9 days stay-in to go, god bless me ar..

hmm..I think this month and next month I seriously planned my schedule untill very packed, I am either working or having something almost every single day, using my target as a motivation to push myself to work whenever I got free time. Actually there is nothing much bad about staying in here, can seriously save alot of $$$ on meals and also get paid while doing nothing! But well, with advantage come disadvantage also, gotta keep eating the same food every other day and also can't exercize at all (not that I exercize much when I am outside but still!).. I feel alittle unhealthy staying in a aircon room 24/7 for so many days..

Anyway wed I am able to go out already, hopefully I am able to find some motivation for me to go exercize when I am out before I come back for next study again! I decided to give myself two months to slim down 10kg, hopefully I can achieve it..

what happen when crazy instructors stayover!

Below are some of the photos that what crazy people (instructors!) can do when they are bored..

This is only the beginning..


Look at danson face



-_-




The end of a overnight crazy mahjong!

Guess what is inside and which poor fellow gotta drink it?! ya, thats right, i m the poor fellow.. ZzZz

memories..

laptop back alive and kicking!

I finally get my laptop back in working condition again after being down for one month plus I think?

Currently now at Raffles hospital now doing my second medicine study, today is only the first day of a 9 days stay-in, this process is going to repeat for 3 more times and this will stretch all the way till end of November. Luckily the money is awesomely good, which make it worthwhile to stay in, I don't think I am able to find any other jobs that pay as well as this, like seriously.

For the month of Oct and Nov, I am going to be a super workaholics, my working days is already very packed, Oct only left like 1 or 2 days free and I still trying to squeeze more work days into November. Hopefully by December I am able to clear away some debts that I seriously owed for damn long.

hmm..recently I keep going NUS for work, not any other places but specifically NUS business school that side, spending like more then 5hrs everytime I am there. Seriously I dont know is because I am not wearing my lens or what, every girl that I saw wearing the NUS business school t-shirt look like you, it is really everywhere and anywhere within that business school area. Even thou we broke up like nearly a month ago, many places I go I will still think of you and even hoping that I might get to see you there. I don't ask for much, even see you for a short while talk a little bit, I think it will make my heart feel better also. Now every night when I am at home, I am seriously hugging lam nua to sleep every night, I think that is one of the best gift I ever received, it seriously brighten up my mood everytime I see it. Sometime even thou this sound retarded, I will still talk to lam nua just like how we used to play with it. I think one of these days, I am considering to even bring lam nua to do campsite with me and hug it to sleep at night, haha...

Oh well..like what people always say, all good things must come to an end, I don't know how is life for you after we broke up, from your facebook I only can tell that you are still very busy with your school work, hopefully in time to come you are able to manage it better and have more free time for urself. Don't every weekend only use it to do your tutorial and nothing else, like that is not leading a balance life already. Once again, I am sorry for all the unhappiness that I brought to you for the past one year plus, maybe you are right, the way I treat you is even worse then how max treat you in the past, at least he didnt hurt you as often as I do.. Sorry, I am just not good enough for you.

This post is specially for you..

Hi all, i think my blog is super rusty already, its been ages since I last update my blog, I wanted to blog this post last weekend but has been procrastinating for very long.

*this post is not suit for people that do not like to read wordy stuff*

It has been one week ever since you broke up with me, I wonder how have you been for the past one week. I know you had already deleted your blog and I been trying to find if you have any new blog, till now got not much discovery. I have a kind of deja vu feeling like you and max that time, you also change your blog add after you broke up with him.

Anyway, after yuan shan i thought that i will never cried for another girl again, but apparently I was wrong totally. I went clubbing with potato they all and halfway through clubbing when I check my fb status you already delete off the relationship, somehow my heart just sank totally and cried. No doubt throughout the week I been thinking of you, be it doing camps and or anywhere that I go, it has memories of you and me, afterall we have been together for like 1 year 5month? Though I am able to carry on with my job and hanging around with my friends/instructor etc, but somehow I will think of you at certain period of time. Its like I am too used to have you eating our favourite food together, "sambal lala, hokkien mee, tom yung soup etc.." Maybe I have been over-rely on you too much, its like everytime when something happen to me or i needed help, you are always around to help me and also assist me to get out of some difficult situation.

I am sorry to disappoint you so much girl, I know alot of promises i made to you just end become lots of empty promises. And this is why also i know that i don't have the right to ask you back cause i know i might even end up hurting you further. Sorry to break your heart over and over again, I really don't mean it and sometime I just give in to temptations easily and then after that realize my mistakes. Thou our family background and culture is so different, we did managed to last more then a year and shared many sad/happy memories.

Alot of people been asking me what happened to us and I also don't know how to answer them, I must admit you are really a nice girl, a girl that can make a good wife in future But right now, it appears that I am really not good enough for you cause I don't really have a proper job now and also I strongly believe uni got much more better guys then me out there. I am really sorry to break your heart and disappoint you so many time, i never meant to end our relationship that way, really.

Right now, i just hope you are able to cope well with your studies and hope you able to find a guy that treat you much better then i do, i guess that is not a difficult tasks as you always tell me your school got many choices of guys. Definitely in terms of future, i believe a guy with a degree from uni will be much better then me that only got a diploma from poly.

I really want to say thank you for all the memories and journey that we been through alot, definitely you make me a better person then before and I can't stop feeling super appreciated of all the troubles that you help me to solved. You step into my life at the lowest point of my life, thank you for picking me up and trust me, you will always be part of my journey in life.

Last but not least, be it as a friend or what, i hope to see you smile soon... Don't forget you still have a pair of lovely "killer dimples", its very hard to find another girl that has the dimple as you. And once again, sorry for breaking your heart, take care.

One last post for year 2009?

Alright, this post suppose to blog before 2009 ended but being the Lazy me, I only type the entry till half way on the New Year Eve and here I am to continue on the entry.... :) *I am still going to post this entry on the date of 31/12/2009!

Firstly I want to say thank you to everyone that show concern for me for the past few weeks, really appreciate it alot alot. Too many things happen to me and my gf for the past few weeks, too much ups and downs to mention over here. But at the same time it also let me realize that I still got a bunch of friends that are always here for me, or even my campers is always here for me. Thanx everyone, ah huat appreciate it.

hmmm..last year I spent my new year eve countdown at Rendall house together with Cyril. Leisha, Hor Heh, Baoyun and Xiao Wei. That year the countdown was quite fun, we drank and also play different kind of board games at Rendall house thanks to the contributions of Cyril's friend. I bet all of us still remember the shouting of the Taboo game at Rendall house, we are so noisy until Rendall neighbour keep coming over to ask us lower our voice. haha... We also get to see the firework right infront of Rendall house, no need to squeeze here and there with strangers from outside or what, how cool can that be?!

This year the eve countdown was slightly different, I am suppose to spent it with my gf actually.. But haiz..sadly to say my gf fall sick on the eve itself, she was down with fever, flu and ulcer. I book out around 5pm, went to Sun Plaza to buy ingredients then went home to cook dinner for her and my family. My initial plan of spending with my gf was so much different, the day before I went to bought 2 GV goldclass tickets that is screening Avatar at 930pm on New year eve. Because I was thinking since both I n my gf has never watch a movie in GV goldclass before, so I thought of making the new year eve a little different for both of us, end up who knows so unfortunately she was down with fever etc and there goes the movie tickets....haiz..
Hmm...any way then around night 10plus her father come my house pick her and she went home already. So I spent my new year eve countdown alone at home in my room, watching firework on the TV and also listening to firework sound coming from JB.. ZzZzz.. (-_-)

So many incidents build up to welcome a brand new year, I really don't know what to say.. Hopefully everything will slowly turn out fine and I hope my gf will recover soon as I really dont wish to see her being so sick also.

Brother's Wedding

Took a 2 days off this week for my brother wedding and also run some errands on the day before my brother's wedding. Its going to be a hectic week for me!!

Wake up damn early for my brother wedding, I slept around night 3+ and I think I work up around mrn 6+! Surprisingly I wasnt feeling that tired throughout the day I don't know why also. Anyway, my gf come over my house around 7am to help up with the usual traditional wedding tea ceremony. This wedding is slightly different from my previous two brother wedding, both my 1st and 2nd brother their wedding is tea ceremony in the morning and a wedding dinner at night, but my this 3rd brother wedding is a tea ceremony in the morning and wedding lunch buffet in the noon! So in terms of timing wise it is alittle rushing coz not much resting time for us in between the tea ceremony and the wedding lunch buffet.

Anyway after the tea ceremony ended around 9+, my gf and I rest for awhile and then proceed to the wedding function that is held at Rasa Shangri-La Sentosa Resort. As there are limited vacancies in my 1st brother and 2nd brother car, I and my gf no choice gotta take the public transport despite being so dressed up! (-_-) Upon reaching harbourfront, at first I went to the control station to ask for directions to take the shuttle bus to the resort, the instructions given was not clear and we just roughly make our way to the assumed bus stop and wait for the shuttle bus. But after reaching ar, the bus stop never indicate anything and as we running late already we decided to go vivo and take the sentosa train instead. When reach vivo, the sentosa staff say we still have to pay for the entrance fee even though we have the wedding invitations card!!! As I feel quite unfair to pay for such thing, I decided to ask the staff the correct locations to wait for the free shuttle bus to the resort instead. End up they give me a even more blur directions until I totally don't know which bus stop to go wait for the shuttle bus. After touring here and there, as the time was running we no choice end up took cab at vivo to proceed to the resort. *waste money*

After reaching the resort, we went to my brother room as the solemnisation haven start yet, this was the first time I step inside Rasa Shangri-La even though I am frequent visitor to Sentosa and also this is the first time I step into their resort room. The room at the resort somehow make me feel that the room look like those room on a star cruise. The balcony view from my brother room was very nice and it is very suitable for couple to stay for sure. After awhile everyone start to proceed to the first floor and get ready for the solemnisation by the beachside.

After solemnisation, we proceed to the ballroom for the lunch buffet and I manage to see some relatives over there, people that I don't even have any idea had I ever see them before at any other places. I think this happens to everyone I suppose? Like every wedding that anyone go to, they will like see some relative or what that they dont know at all yet the relative will claim he or she had seen you before. Anyway, I think its been sometime since I last attend a wedding buffet instead of the usual wedding dinner 9-course meal, I guess the buffet trend is slowly catching up as more and more young couples are opting for it nowadays.

After the yum-seng and every other thing, and ta daah...it was home-sweet-home for everyone. I think I drank at alot of different drinks in the wedding, got orange, coke, sprit, expresso, red wine and english breakfast tea. Luckily I didnt had a major stomach upset after that.

*My parents got 4 sons, 3 already married and I am the last one left! My mom already told me something at my 3rd brother wedding, she said that since I am the last one in the family to get married, she will want the wedding to be a big big one and end it on a very good note... So I guess 1 or 2 more years later, the pressure will slowly start to build on me.. oh well...ZzzZz

What do you want in a Bf/Gf?

I think today is relatively a reflection day and a bad day for me, was thinking how bad could it get? I vomitted after my lunch today, I sprain my ankle when I was on my way home from lunch and my eyes is having some infection or something.

Vomitted after eat bak chor mee for lunch today, the portion wasn't big at all but somehow I just feel like vomit everything out after the meal. Appetite affected? I do not know about it. Then while walking back home, I accidentally step into a drain and sprain my right ankle, yes thats right my already operated right ankle. Maybe because I was walking aimlessly that I do not realize the direction that I am heading towards. Eye infection needless to say, its because of the unhygiene practise I had, eye infection is already nothing new to me.

I spent the whole afternoon tidy up my room today since I do not know who to meet and where to go. Totally got no plans and no idea what I want for today. I guess my room now is pretty much ready for my brother's wedding next wednesday even though I simply just sweep up my room, keep plenty of things and throw away loads of trash only. I guess my room got alot of things until in the beginning I do not know where should I start with. Done alot of reflections today while tidying my room, still do not know why must we end up where we are now.

My family still doesnt know anything about us and my mum keep asking about you today, "like what time you coming for my brother's wedding", "never head out and meet your gf ar?" when I accompany her to eat dinner, she still ask me am I meeting you later. I don't know what to tell her other then saying you are busy today and I not sure what time you are coming for my brother wedding when I do not even know will I be seeing you at my brother's wedding.

Anyway done alot of reflections today and also receive different kind of response from different group of people which kee me thinking about it. What do people really want in a Bf/GF? Is it possible to make a relationship everlasting just by truly loving each other? How about other factors like personalities? interest? environment? peer influence? other commitment? It just keep me thinking...

*Receive your message when I was watching the 9pm channel 8 show, even though its one and only short message of the day, its enough to make me tears when I read the message. You make me reflect even more, the time when I went to your house and take care of you because you are sick, it is the one and only time I manage to step inside your house because no one is around. It is definitely a short but very memorable memories.