I really don't want to lose u away...

Back from genting after a 3d2n trip there with my mum. I should say this is quite a bad trip because lost alot of money plus my citibank card is being retained by the stupid atm due to wrong pin keyed. Totally FML!!

When I was walking around in genting, everywhere I go make me think of you. Really thinking of you, even thou when we are in genting we spent lots of time in the casino, but I really miss the holiday trip we had at the beginning of the year. This time round when I went with my mum, trust me I seriously don't want to bet much. I remember you asking me not to bet too much and I remember it clearly. When I lost the initial amount of money that I brought there, I already plan not to change the money and bet somemore already. I try go walk around the shopping areas alone while my mum is inside the casino gambling, everywhere I go I see couples if not will be people in big group. I rarely see any person travelling individually or shopping alone. Looking at couples and groups of people make me keep thinking of you again, I miss the time we shop together be it KL or genting and every single things we do together. The more I walk around the more emo I get, end up I head back to casino and continue betting aimlessly. I know many people will say this is me finding excuses to go gambling but dear, my this trip I am really going there with a heavy heart, my mind is constantly thinking of you. Everynight at genting, I only can look at your photos in my phone and cried myself to sleep.

You have played a too much important role in my life, something that I only really feel the pain when you are not by my side now. When I on my way back to singapore, I have already calculated my finance and I know it is completely screwed up with debts and debts and debts. I know no one like their bf/gf to be down with so much debts, I also don't wish to be stucked in this situation also. This genting trip and our relationship status now really give me a very big wake up call. I already planned up find a part time job to top my monthly income so that I can clear my debts faster. I also forcing myself to stop gambling on soccer or go casino anymore, at least not in the near future. This may sound lies but I guess only time will tell.. haiz...