Tonight is the last night of this study stay-in, by right I should be very happy and looking forward to the arrival of tomorrow which is the last day of this whole medicine study. I do not know why but somehow I just have a feeling of being very lost now. After this medicine study, I don't know what is my plan for the next few month. Its like I have alot of plans for this December, yet I afraid that many things might not turn out the way I want it to be, especially my HK working trip.
Suppose to bring a group of students for oversea trip to HK on 13th to 16th December, till not I am still not sure am I being confirmed for that trip. Secondly is my own trip on 19th to 23rd December, I haven't decide which day should I go for thevtrip. Initially my plan was to go with a big group of instructors, go there have fun etc.. But now end up I think only me and my mum is going, I not sure whether I still want to carry on with the trip with my mum.
So for the period between 5th dec to 13th dec I am still very free, its like no job during that period and I seriously will find it very wasted if I unable to find any jobs that can fit into that period. I would rather be working my butt off to earn money then to stay home and rot or go out to waste money.
Then another thing is I not sure do I still want to carry on with my medicine study till March next year or should I treat this as my very last medicine study before I start a proper a full time job. If I carry on with the medicine study, I am still able to do camp in between the period when I am outside of the study in January, February and March. But then I afraid it is like alittle too late for me to start a full time job if I drag till March or April next year. I m must agree the money from the medicine study is very good, its like very hard to find other jobs that can pay me this well with my age and my qualifications
I am seriously at a lost now, can ANYONE HELP ME?!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Finally!
Been lazy to blog for the past one week plus and I guess this will be one of my final post here before I finally finish my medicine study! Today is the 2nd last night of this 4th period study, two more nights and I will be finally done with the medicine study and get ready to collect the money at the end of the month!
Come to think about it, when I was just about to start my first period of this study, I was still thinking how am I going to survive all the four study period, its like going to drag till near 2 month and it is freaking long! One blink and now I am in my 4th period and so going to finish it already, I seriously can't wait to get out of here to enjoy loads of good food outside.
The past 2 week hasn't been a very good week for me also, suppose to have my own food race event on 20th nov, but well...everything just didnt go according to plan. The plan eventually become a failure, a lot of teams can't make it and two team back out very last min when I already made the badges for the food race. Well..you know it, all the money I spent for the badges and the recce trip has gone down to drain.. haiz... I know its my fault to change the prizes at the very last minute, but I seriously trying to work within my budget also, I guess no one can truly understand how I feel. I was looking forward to the event and end up it become like throwing money down the drain...
I guess I not going to organize it again anytime soon, having a little trauma over it. Even though to be a business men, there bound to be failure and obstacles, perhaps I am still not ready for it at the moment I think.
Come to think about it, when I was just about to start my first period of this study, I was still thinking how am I going to survive all the four study period, its like going to drag till near 2 month and it is freaking long! One blink and now I am in my 4th period and so going to finish it already, I seriously can't wait to get out of here to enjoy loads of good food outside.
The past 2 week hasn't been a very good week for me also, suppose to have my own food race event on 20th nov, but well...everything just didnt go according to plan. The plan eventually become a failure, a lot of teams can't make it and two team back out very last min when I already made the badges for the food race. Well..you know it, all the money I spent for the badges and the recce trip has gone down to drain.. haiz... I know its my fault to change the prizes at the very last minute, but I seriously trying to work within my budget also, I guess no one can truly understand how I feel. I was looking forward to the event and end up it become like throwing money down the drain...
I guess I not going to organize it again anytime soon, having a little trauma over it. Even though to be a business men, there bound to be failure and obstacles, perhaps I am still not ready for it at the moment I think.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Aloha!
Hoila! I m back to blogging again after stop blogging for the past 1week plus I think? Today is the second last day of my 3rd period stay-in at the hospital, tomorrow can go home and I will be left with one final period to complete the entire medicine study! Seriously I can't wait to end all the period soon, staying in a aircon room 24/7 is seriously not my kind of thing, I need sun to make me feel like I am living normally. haha..
Last week after I finish my second period, it will a super busy week for me. I got like three birthday dinner, one BBQ, one day event, one concert and one farewell party that all happens in the period of 5 days that I spent outside!
Well.. Actually this week is isn't much better too, Wed having another party, thurs got PCB, fri got day event, Sat got my own food race, I think I only left with sun and mon which has nothing on for now.. I can't believe I can be seriously this busy for this month, but I guess that is also a good thing for me as all the outings and stuff will keep me occupied and prevent me from anyhow think again.
Currently the response for the food race is still quite bad, only got two confirmed team at the moment, haiz.. I wonder is it even a good choice I make in creating this food race event.. hmm..hopefully when the day comes, it will be much better bah..
Last week after I finish my second period, it will a super busy week for me. I got like three birthday dinner, one BBQ, one day event, one concert and one farewell party that all happens in the period of 5 days that I spent outside!
Well.. Actually this week is isn't much better too, Wed having another party, thurs got PCB, fri got day event, Sat got my own food race, I think I only left with sun and mon which has nothing on for now.. I can't believe I can be seriously this busy for this month, but I guess that is also a good thing for me as all the outings and stuff will keep me occupied and prevent me from anyhow think again.
Currently the response for the food race is still quite bad, only got two confirmed team at the moment, haiz.. I wonder is it even a good choice I make in creating this food race event.. hmm..hopefully when the day comes, it will be much better bah..
Monday, November 1, 2010
Tonight is a good night?
Another day has come to an end, less then 2 days I will finish my 2nd period of my medicine study.. This mean that another 9days is going to pass soon and I wonder for the past 8days that I stay here, did I spent it fruitfully? Food for thoughts..
My mood been going up and down today, somehow I am still recovering from the "shock" that I received yesterday, it did required me to take some time to totally recovered from it. Of all the girlfriends that I had before, I must say seriously only a few leave deep impact in my heart. No doubt each girlfriends did leave some memories in me, but some seriously have craved a deep impact in me that everytime as and when I will start to think about it. I already got eunice and yuanshan leave a very deep impression in me, now I got one more to the list, chenyin.
I believe in every past relationships make me a stronger person in the next relationship and able to handle it better, apparently I still got a long long way to go.. I suppose I am more of a lover material then a boyfriend material, coz I never fail to upset all the girlfriend that I had before. Just like when chenyin say that I am worse than her ex boyfriend, Max. Even though she only mention it once in the sms during our quarrel, but that indeed hurt me alot during that time and untill now it still hurt me alittle. I always thought that I treat my girlfriend quite well, untill chenyin say I am worse than Max, it seriously make me reflect alot at that time. Knowing how her ex boyfriend used to treat or sometime even abuse her, I can't believe she actually think that I m worse than him, I guess this really show how bad of a boyfriend I am.
I often make alot of promises to my girlfriend, some I achieved it and some end up as empty promises.. Everytime when I think back I seriously think what chenyin said is probably correct, I always disappoint her and giving her empty promises etc, she came into my life at the lowest point, pull me up and provide me all the support that she could, yet I didnt fulfilled alot of my promises and give her so much unhappiness in the relationship. Everytime when I think back, it just make me feel so much guilty and feel like a total jerk.
Its too late to say anything now, I am still trying to get over you, really.. I don't know how and when will I start to get a good night sleep without regrets and disappointments.. haiz..
My mood been going up and down today, somehow I am still recovering from the "shock" that I received yesterday, it did required me to take some time to totally recovered from it. Of all the girlfriends that I had before, I must say seriously only a few leave deep impact in my heart. No doubt each girlfriends did leave some memories in me, but some seriously have craved a deep impact in me that everytime as and when I will start to think about it. I already got eunice and yuanshan leave a very deep impression in me, now I got one more to the list, chenyin.
I believe in every past relationships make me a stronger person in the next relationship and able to handle it better, apparently I still got a long long way to go.. I suppose I am more of a lover material then a boyfriend material, coz I never fail to upset all the girlfriend that I had before. Just like when chenyin say that I am worse than her ex boyfriend, Max. Even though she only mention it once in the sms during our quarrel, but that indeed hurt me alot during that time and untill now it still hurt me alittle. I always thought that I treat my girlfriend quite well, untill chenyin say I am worse than Max, it seriously make me reflect alot at that time. Knowing how her ex boyfriend used to treat or sometime even abuse her, I can't believe she actually think that I m worse than him, I guess this really show how bad of a boyfriend I am.
I often make alot of promises to my girlfriend, some I achieved it and some end up as empty promises.. Everytime when I think back I seriously think what chenyin said is probably correct, I always disappoint her and giving her empty promises etc, she came into my life at the lowest point, pull me up and provide me all the support that she could, yet I didnt fulfilled alot of my promises and give her so much unhappiness in the relationship. Everytime when I think back, it just make me feel so much guilty and feel like a total jerk.
Its too late to say anything now, I am still trying to get over you, really.. I don't know how and when will I start to get a good night sleep without regrets and disappointments.. haiz..
Sunday, October 31, 2010
It still hurts afterall..
I thought today was a good day coz I win some money here in mahjong, but never did I expect my mood can change from sky high to rock bottom when I go back my room. I went back my room and log into facebook, when I see that you are attached, my heart just sank to the bottom. I had never expect you to get attached so soon, its like less then 2 months you already got a new bf le...
Even thou for the past one month plus I didnt ask you for patch up or what, but I just feel like slapping myself when I know that you are attached now. I guess the feeling of seeing a ex gf getting attached really suck big time, especially when it is like just happen so recent only. Everyday I log onto facebook, i never fail to check ur page to check that you are doing ok etc, and the last thing I hope to see is that you got a new bf.. Can say I am selfish/evil/mean or what, but I just praying that at least you won't get a new bf so soon, I don't know how to accept the news, really...
The feeling is really different now, my whole body is like feeling numb and I just feel like hiding in one corner calm myself down... I can't believe myself untill now, I still save your number in my hp as dear, it sound silly but ya... I guess people really move on as time passes by, too bad I am really a sucker that always get emotional over relationship that has already ended.
Even thou for the past one month plus I didnt ask you for patch up or what, but I just feel like slapping myself when I know that you are attached now. I guess the feeling of seeing a ex gf getting attached really suck big time, especially when it is like just happen so recent only. Everyday I log onto facebook, i never fail to check ur page to check that you are doing ok etc, and the last thing I hope to see is that you got a new bf.. Can say I am selfish/evil/mean or what, but I just praying that at least you won't get a new bf so soon, I don't know how to accept the news, really...
The feeling is really different now, my whole body is like feeling numb and I just feel like hiding in one corner calm myself down... I can't believe myself untill now, I still save your number in my hp as dear, it sound silly but ya... I guess people really move on as time passes by, too bad I am really a sucker that always get emotional over relationship that has already ended.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Back again!
hey! I m back at the hospital for another 9 days for the second period of my medicine study! The 5 days that I get to spent outside passed so fast and a blink of an eye I m back here at the same place to stuck for another 9 days, hopefully this 9 days can pass as fast as the previous period stay in.
Today wake up quite early in the morning went for breakfast then head to ECP to "help-out" in alex day event. Not a must to go down but I still decided to go down because next week I m the in-charge for one of the days, so need to roughly know how is the whole thing being run etc.. But well..I went down a alittle too late, even thou I still managed to spent about 2hrs at east coast, but I missed out the most important part which is briefing the participants etc.. Hope I don't screw up on the day that I work..!
Alot of plans is going through my mind everyday and mainly is in terms of working, managing my finance etc.. I had already cut down on my gambling already, I mean seriously cut down alot.. I am slowly learning to refrain myself from gambling and even if I really gamble, I limit myself to a certain and stick with it... I just wish that when december come, my finance will be so much better then now..
Today wake up quite early in the morning went for breakfast then head to ECP to "help-out" in alex day event. Not a must to go down but I still decided to go down because next week I m the in-charge for one of the days, so need to roughly know how is the whole thing being run etc.. But well..I went down a alittle too late, even thou I still managed to spent about 2hrs at east coast, but I missed out the most important part which is briefing the participants etc.. Hope I don't screw up on the day that I work..!
Alot of plans is going through my mind everyday and mainly is in terms of working, managing my finance etc.. I had already cut down on my gambling already, I mean seriously cut down alot.. I am slowly learning to refrain myself from gambling and even if I really gamble, I limit myself to a certain and stick with it... I just wish that when december come, my finance will be so much better then now..
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Last night!
Today is finally the last night of the 9days stay-in for period 1!! The past one week plus has been staying at the hospital doing nothing much, everyday can only crave to go out and enjoy when the 9days stay-in ended.. I seriously need sun to make me feel healthier and less sinful, and another important is that I miss my son Lam nua! haha.. Still considering whether to bring my son for the next 3 period stay-in anot..
Hmm..everyday I see you online, it makes me feel like talking to you yet I do not know how should I bring myself to talk to you. Like a usual bad habbit of me, alot of times I regretted not cherishing something when it is no longer in my possession anymore, it has been a bad habbit since two years ago and untill now I still facing the same problem. Many times we always wish that we could rewind the time back, thinking how can we improve the situation back then, not making silly mistakes and stuff... but haiz...its easy to say but it is always too late to regret it..
When you first entered NUS that time, many of my friend asked me, "hey your gf now in NUS, are you scared of her running away with another guy?", at that time I will always jokingly say that its not impossible coz I know how much you love me even thou I have difficulty gaining your trust back again, but never did I expected 2months after you start school, we have already broke off, thou I know its all mainly my fault and you have never done anything wrong to me. I guess many things really can happened in a few months time, be it good or bad...
It's my loss not to have you as my gf anymore and I can't stop feeling guilty/sinful on and off when I am alone, thinking how I disappoint you time and time again... One year 5months definitely mean something to me, even thou I didnt cherish it as much as you do, but defintiely it leave a deep impact in me also.. Until now, I still misses u at times, really.. Whenever I miss you, I can only look at my son and smile silly to it.. It sound stupid but ya, it will just make me feel better when I hug lam nua.. I don't know how are you coping with the break up till now, hopefully I am able to get over it soon bah..
With a loss comes a gain also, at least now I can really work all the way I want without worrying much since alot of my friends has already left me, I got so much time now for me to work and reach my target of clearing all my debts away.. At the same time I m also trying to quit gambling in soccer untill I m in a better financial state.. So please pray that I am able carry on stop gambling!
Hmm..everyday I see you online, it makes me feel like talking to you yet I do not know how should I bring myself to talk to you. Like a usual bad habbit of me, alot of times I regretted not cherishing something when it is no longer in my possession anymore, it has been a bad habbit since two years ago and untill now I still facing the same problem. Many times we always wish that we could rewind the time back, thinking how can we improve the situation back then, not making silly mistakes and stuff... but haiz...its easy to say but it is always too late to regret it..
When you first entered NUS that time, many of my friend asked me, "hey your gf now in NUS, are you scared of her running away with another guy?", at that time I will always jokingly say that its not impossible coz I know how much you love me even thou I have difficulty gaining your trust back again, but never did I expected 2months after you start school, we have already broke off, thou I know its all mainly my fault and you have never done anything wrong to me. I guess many things really can happened in a few months time, be it good or bad...
It's my loss not to have you as my gf anymore and I can't stop feeling guilty/sinful on and off when I am alone, thinking how I disappoint you time and time again... One year 5months definitely mean something to me, even thou I didnt cherish it as much as you do, but defintiely it leave a deep impact in me also.. Until now, I still misses u at times, really.. Whenever I miss you, I can only look at my son and smile silly to it.. It sound stupid but ya, it will just make me feel better when I hug lam nua.. I don't know how are you coping with the break up till now, hopefully I am able to get over it soon bah..
With a loss comes a gain also, at least now I can really work all the way I want without worrying much since alot of my friends has already left me, I got so much time now for me to work and reach my target of clearing all my debts away.. At the same time I m also trying to quit gambling in soccer untill I m in a better financial state.. So please pray that I am able carry on stop gambling!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Hectic October!
-_-"
Taken in the hospital!I am currently in another medicine study again!! Tonight is the second last night before I get discharged from the hospital after staying for like 7days already? Luckily this 9 days stay-in passed much faster then I expected, so much better then my previous study which is 16 days long.. ZZzzz.. But well, I still got 3 more period of this 9 days stay-in to go, god bless me ar..
hmm..I think this month and next month I seriously planned my schedule untill very packed, I am either working or having something almost every single day, using my target as a motivation to push myself to work whenever I got free time. Actually there is nothing much bad about staying in here, can seriously save alot of $$$ on meals and also get paid while doing nothing! But well, with advantage come disadvantage also, gotta keep eating the same food every other day and also can't exercize at all (not that I exercize much when I am outside but still!).. I feel alittle unhealthy staying in a aircon room 24/7 for so many days..
Anyway wed I am able to go out already, hopefully I am able to find some motivation for me to go exercize when I am out before I come back for next study again! I decided to give myself two months to slim down 10kg, hopefully I can achieve it..
Thursday, October 14, 2010
what happen when crazy instructors stayover!
Below are some of the photos that what crazy people (instructors!) can do when they are bored..
This is only the beginning..
Look at danson face
-_-
The end of a overnight crazy mahjong!
Guess what is inside and which poor fellow gotta drink it?! ya, thats right, i m the poor fellow.. ZzZz
This is only the beginning..
Look at danson face
-_-
The end of a overnight crazy mahjong!
Guess what is inside and which poor fellow gotta drink it?! ya, thats right, i m the poor fellow.. ZzZzTuesday, October 12, 2010
laptop back alive and kicking!
I finally get my laptop back in working condition again after being down for one month plus I think?
Currently now at Raffles hospital now doing my second medicine study, today is only the first day of a 9 days stay-in, this process is going to repeat for 3 more times and this will stretch all the way till end of November. Luckily the money is awesomely good, which make it worthwhile to stay in, I don't think I am able to find any other jobs that pay as well as this, like seriously.
For the month of Oct and Nov, I am going to be a super workaholics, my working days is already very packed, Oct only left like 1 or 2 days free and I still trying to squeeze more work days into November. Hopefully by December I am able to clear away some debts that I seriously owed for damn long.
hmm..recently I keep going NUS for work, not any other places but specifically NUS business school that side, spending like more then 5hrs everytime I am there. Seriously I dont know is because I am not wearing my lens or what, every girl that I saw wearing the NUS business school t-shirt look like you, it is really everywhere and anywhere within that business school area. Even thou we broke up like nearly a month ago, many places I go I will still think of you and even hoping that I might get to see you there. I don't ask for much, even see you for a short while talk a little bit, I think it will make my heart feel better also. Now every night when I am at home, I am seriously hugging lam nua to sleep every night, I think that is one of the best gift I ever received, it seriously brighten up my mood everytime I see it. Sometime even thou this sound retarded, I will still talk to lam nua just like how we used to play with it. I think one of these days, I am considering to even bring lam nua to do campsite with me and hug it to sleep at night, haha...
Oh well..like what people always say, all good things must come to an end, I don't know how is life for you after we broke up, from your facebook I only can tell that you are still very busy with your school work, hopefully in time to come you are able to manage it better and have more free time for urself. Don't every weekend only use it to do your tutorial and nothing else, like that is not leading a balance life already. Once again, I am sorry for all the unhappiness that I brought to you for the past one year plus, maybe you are right, the way I treat you is even worse then how max treat you in the past, at least he didnt hurt you as often as I do.. Sorry, I am just not good enough for you.
Currently now at Raffles hospital now doing my second medicine study, today is only the first day of a 9 days stay-in, this process is going to repeat for 3 more times and this will stretch all the way till end of November. Luckily the money is awesomely good, which make it worthwhile to stay in, I don't think I am able to find any other jobs that pay as well as this, like seriously.
For the month of Oct and Nov, I am going to be a super workaholics, my working days is already very packed, Oct only left like 1 or 2 days free and I still trying to squeeze more work days into November. Hopefully by December I am able to clear away some debts that I seriously owed for damn long.
hmm..recently I keep going NUS for work, not any other places but specifically NUS business school that side, spending like more then 5hrs everytime I am there. Seriously I dont know is because I am not wearing my lens or what, every girl that I saw wearing the NUS business school t-shirt look like you, it is really everywhere and anywhere within that business school area. Even thou we broke up like nearly a month ago, many places I go I will still think of you and even hoping that I might get to see you there. I don't ask for much, even see you for a short while talk a little bit, I think it will make my heart feel better also. Now every night when I am at home, I am seriously hugging lam nua to sleep every night, I think that is one of the best gift I ever received, it seriously brighten up my mood everytime I see it. Sometime even thou this sound retarded, I will still talk to lam nua just like how we used to play with it. I think one of these days, I am considering to even bring lam nua to do campsite with me and hug it to sleep at night, haha...
Oh well..like what people always say, all good things must come to an end, I don't know how is life for you after we broke up, from your facebook I only can tell that you are still very busy with your school work, hopefully in time to come you are able to manage it better and have more free time for urself. Don't every weekend only use it to do your tutorial and nothing else, like that is not leading a balance life already. Once again, I am sorry for all the unhappiness that I brought to you for the past one year plus, maybe you are right, the way I treat you is even worse then how max treat you in the past, at least he didnt hurt you as often as I do.. Sorry, I am just not good enough for you.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
This post is specially for you..
Hi all, i think my blog is super rusty already, its been ages since I last update my blog, I wanted to blog this post last weekend but has been procrastinating for very long.
*this post is not suit for people that do not like to read wordy stuff*
It has been one week ever since you broke up with me, I wonder how have you been for the past one week. I know you had already deleted your blog and I been trying to find if you have any new blog, till now got not much discovery. I have a kind of deja vu feeling like you and max that time, you also change your blog add after you broke up with him.
Anyway, after yuan shan i thought that i will never cried for another girl again, but apparently I was wrong totally. I went clubbing with potato they all and halfway through clubbing when I check my fb status you already delete off the relationship, somehow my heart just sank totally and cried. No doubt throughout the week I been thinking of you, be it doing camps and or anywhere that I go, it has memories of you and me, afterall we have been together for like 1 year 5month? Though I am able to carry on with my job and hanging around with my friends/instructor etc, but somehow I will think of you at certain period of time. Its like I am too used to have you eating our favourite food together, "sambal lala, hokkien mee, tom yung soup etc.." Maybe I have been over-rely on you too much, its like everytime when something happen to me or i needed help, you are always around to help me and also assist me to get out of some difficult situation.
I am sorry to disappoint you so much girl, I know alot of promises i made to you just end become lots of empty promises. And this is why also i know that i don't have the right to ask you back cause i know i might even end up hurting you further. Sorry to break your heart over and over again, I really don't mean it and sometime I just give in to temptations easily and then after that realize my mistakes. Thou our family background and culture is so different, we did managed to last more then a year and shared many sad/happy memories.
Alot of people been asking me what happened to us and I also don't know how to answer them, I must admit you are really a nice girl, a girl that can make a good wife in future But right now, it appears that I am really not good enough for you cause I don't really have a proper job now and also I strongly believe uni got much more better guys then me out there. I am really sorry to break your heart and disappoint you so many time, i never meant to end our relationship that way, really.
Right now, i just hope you are able to cope well with your studies and hope you able to find a guy that treat you much better then i do, i guess that is not a difficult tasks as you always tell me your school got many choices of guys. Definitely in terms of future, i believe a guy with a degree from uni will be much better then me that only got a diploma from poly.
I really want to say thank you for all the memories and journey that we been through alot, definitely you make me a better person then before and I can't stop feeling super appreciated of all the troubles that you help me to solved. You step into my life at the lowest point of my life, thank you for picking me up and trust me, you will always be part of my journey in life.
Last but not least, be it as a friend or what, i hope to see you smile soon... Don't forget you still have a pair of lovely "killer dimples", its very hard to find another girl that has the dimple as you. And once again, sorry for breaking your heart, take care.
*this post is not suit for people that do not like to read wordy stuff*
It has been one week ever since you broke up with me, I wonder how have you been for the past one week. I know you had already deleted your blog and I been trying to find if you have any new blog, till now got not much discovery. I have a kind of deja vu feeling like you and max that time, you also change your blog add after you broke up with him.
Anyway, after yuan shan i thought that i will never cried for another girl again, but apparently I was wrong totally. I went clubbing with potato they all and halfway through clubbing when I check my fb status you already delete off the relationship, somehow my heart just sank totally and cried. No doubt throughout the week I been thinking of you, be it doing camps and or anywhere that I go, it has memories of you and me, afterall we have been together for like 1 year 5month? Though I am able to carry on with my job and hanging around with my friends/instructor etc, but somehow I will think of you at certain period of time. Its like I am too used to have you eating our favourite food together, "sambal lala, hokkien mee, tom yung soup etc.." Maybe I have been over-rely on you too much, its like everytime when something happen to me or i needed help, you are always around to help me and also assist me to get out of some difficult situation.
I am sorry to disappoint you so much girl, I know alot of promises i made to you just end become lots of empty promises. And this is why also i know that i don't have the right to ask you back cause i know i might even end up hurting you further. Sorry to break your heart over and over again, I really don't mean it and sometime I just give in to temptations easily and then after that realize my mistakes. Thou our family background and culture is so different, we did managed to last more then a year and shared many sad/happy memories.
Alot of people been asking me what happened to us and I also don't know how to answer them, I must admit you are really a nice girl, a girl that can make a good wife in future But right now, it appears that I am really not good enough for you cause I don't really have a proper job now and also I strongly believe uni got much more better guys then me out there. I am really sorry to break your heart and disappoint you so many time, i never meant to end our relationship that way, really.
Right now, i just hope you are able to cope well with your studies and hope you able to find a guy that treat you much better then i do, i guess that is not a difficult tasks as you always tell me your school got many choices of guys. Definitely in terms of future, i believe a guy with a degree from uni will be much better then me that only got a diploma from poly.
I really want to say thank you for all the memories and journey that we been through alot, definitely you make me a better person then before and I can't stop feeling super appreciated of all the troubles that you help me to solved. You step into my life at the lowest point of my life, thank you for picking me up and trust me, you will always be part of my journey in life.
Last but not least, be it as a friend or what, i hope to see you smile soon... Don't forget you still have a pair of lovely "killer dimples", its very hard to find another girl that has the dimple as you. And once again, sorry for breaking your heart, take care.
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