Last night!

Today is finally the last night of the 9days stay-in for period 1!! The past one week plus has been staying at the hospital doing nothing much, everyday can only crave to go out and enjoy when the 9days stay-in ended.. I seriously need sun to make me feel healthier and less sinful, and another important is that I miss my son Lam nua! haha.. Still considering whether to bring my son for the next 3 period stay-in anot..

Hmm..everyday I see you online, it makes me feel like talking to you yet I do not know how should I bring myself to talk to you. Like a usual bad habbit of me, alot of times I regretted not cherishing something when it is no longer in my possession anymore, it has been a bad habbit since two years ago and untill now I still facing the same problem. Many times we always wish that we could rewind the time back, thinking how can we improve the situation back then, not making silly mistakes and stuff... but haiz...its easy to say but it is always too late to regret it..

When you first entered NUS that time, many of my friend asked me, "hey your gf now in NUS, are you scared of her running away with another guy?", at that time I will always jokingly say that its not impossible coz I know how much you love me even thou I have difficulty gaining your trust back again, but never did I expected 2months after you start school, we have already broke off, thou I know its all mainly my fault and you have never done anything wrong to me. I guess many things really can happened in a few months time, be it good or bad...

It's my loss not to have you as my gf anymore and I can't stop feeling guilty/sinful on and off when I am alone, thinking how I disappoint you time and time again... One year 5months definitely mean something to me, even thou I didnt cherish it as much as you do, but defintiely it leave a deep impact in me also.. Until now, I still misses u at times, really.. Whenever I miss you, I can only look at my son and smile silly to it.. It sound stupid but ya, it will just make me feel better when I hug lam nua.. I don't know how are you coping with the break up till now, hopefully I am able to get over it soon bah..

With a loss comes a gain also, at least now I can really work all the way I want without worrying much since alot of my friends has already left me, I got so much time now for me to work and reach my target of clearing all my debts away.. At the same time I m also trying to quit gambling in soccer untill I m in a better financial state.. So please pray that I am able carry on stop gambling!