Contradicting me

Tonight is the last night of this study stay-in, by right I should be very happy and looking forward to the arrival of tomorrow which is the last day of this whole medicine study. I do not know why but somehow I just have a feeling of being very lost now. After this medicine study, I don't know what is my plan for the next few month. Its like I have alot of plans for this December, yet I afraid that many things might not turn out the way I want it to be, especially my HK working trip.

Suppose to bring a group of students for oversea trip to HK on 13th to 16th December, till not I am still not sure am I being confirmed for that trip. Secondly is my own trip on 19th to 23rd December, I haven't decide which day should I go for thevtrip. Initially my plan was to go with a big group of instructors, go there have fun etc.. But now end up I think only me and my mum is going, I not sure whether I still want to carry on with the trip with my mum.

So for the period between 5th dec to 13th dec I am still very free, its like no job during that period and I seriously will find it very wasted if I unable to find any jobs that can fit into that period. I would rather be working my butt off to earn money then to stay home and rot or go out to waste money.

Then another thing is I not sure do I still want to carry on with my medicine study till March next year or should I treat this as my very last medicine study before I start a proper a full time job. If I carry on with the medicine study, I am still able to do camp in between the period when I am outside of the study in January, February and March. But then I afraid it is like alittle too late for me to start a full time job if I drag till March or April next year. I m must agree the money from the medicine study is very good, its like very hard to find other jobs that can pay me this well with my age and my qualifications

I am seriously at a lost now, can ANYONE HELP ME?!