It's over dude, over!

Its been damn long since I last touched my blog, think it is already rusty like don’t know what… hmm… Anyway past few months a lot of things had happened in my life, many people entered in and out of my life; with that come happiness and definitely it come with sadness too. I realized that I can never be a perfect boyfriend that pleases everyone and also finding a person that really understand me on what I want. Many times when I tried to put in effort for a relationship, I realized it is too late already. Either the girl has already moved on and don’t wish to wait for me or its too late for the relationship to start blooming. Maybe the girl has already started dating other guys or maybe I disappoint the girl too much until she has already give up on me.

Initially Eunice was the first and only girl that I ever request for break up in all my relationships in the past, now there is another person to the list. I am sorry that I always disappoint you in the past and also request for a break up. Recently my mind is not in a very condition as many things has happened recently. If we were to carry on, I think end up you will only get hurt even further. Looking at the past few months, I think I really did not do my part as a bf, the number of times that we meet up is probably like once or twice a month only and also for like a short while only, many times I only give you empty promises etc. I can see that you are trying to change for me like quit smoking and not going out with other guys etc… That is also why I am really sorry for it and think that you need a better bf, someone that will treat you better then I do.

My mind is feeling like a loss and empty now, I used to feel so well loved and filled with programs to do or look forward to my off days when I can really enjoyed, now suddenly I feel very empty because there is no one else I can spent my days with. I think now my life is totally revolving around work and work and work only. Supposed to go on a short holiday in this month of May, but now I think everything is gone and I have totally no idea what I should do for my off days. Haiz…