Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Contradicting me

Tonight is the last night of this study stay-in, by right I should be very happy and looking forward to the arrival of tomorrow which is the last day of this whole medicine study. I do not know why but somehow I just have a feeling of being very lost now. After this medicine study, I don't know what is my plan for the next few month. Its like I have alot of plans for this December, yet I afraid that many things might not turn out the way I want it to be, especially my HK working trip.

Suppose to bring a group of students for oversea trip to HK on 13th to 16th December, till not I am still not sure am I being confirmed for that trip. Secondly is my own trip on 19th to 23rd December, I haven't decide which day should I go for thevtrip. Initially my plan was to go with a big group of instructors, go there have fun etc.. But now end up I think only me and my mum is going, I not sure whether I still want to carry on with the trip with my mum.

So for the period between 5th dec to 13th dec I am still very free, its like no job during that period and I seriously will find it very wasted if I unable to find any jobs that can fit into that period. I would rather be working my butt off to earn money then to stay home and rot or go out to waste money.

Then another thing is I not sure do I still want to carry on with my medicine study till March next year or should I treat this as my very last medicine study before I start a proper a full time job. If I carry on with the medicine study, I am still able to do camp in between the period when I am outside of the study in January, February and March. But then I afraid it is like alittle too late for me to start a full time job if I drag till March or April next year. I m must agree the money from the medicine study is very good, its like very hard to find other jobs that can pay me this well with my age and my qualifications

I am seriously at a lost now, can ANYONE HELP ME?!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Day event at LAC

Bartley Sec Leadership Camp, my group Exco!



Funky us!



my group, "FIRE"!!!


Finally!

Been lazy to blog for the past one week plus and I guess this will be one of my final post here before I finally finish my medicine study! Today is the 2nd last night of this 4th period study, two more nights and I will be finally done with the medicine study and get ready to collect the money at the end of the month!

Come to think about it, when I was just about to start my first period of this study, I was still thinking how am I going to survive all the four study period, its like going to drag till near 2 month and it is freaking long! One blink and now I am in my 4th period and so going to finish it already, I seriously can't wait to get out of here to enjoy loads of good food outside.

The past 2 week hasn't been a very good week for me also, suppose to have my own food race event on 20th nov, but well...everything just didnt go according to plan. The plan eventually become a failure, a lot of teams can't make it and two team back out very last min when I already made the badges for the food race. Well..you know it, all the money I spent for the badges and the recce trip has gone down to drain.. haiz... I know its my fault to change the prizes at the very last minute, but I seriously trying to work within my budget also, I guess no one can truly understand how I feel. I was looking forward to the event and end up it become like throwing money down the drain...

I guess I not going to organize it again anytime soon, having a little trauma over it. Even though to be a business men, there bound to be failure and obstacles, perhaps I am still not ready for it at the moment I think.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Recent

Michelle camera cui
Meiqi Birthday!

Jeremy Birthday!


Day event for Potato!



Aloha!

Hoila! I m back to blogging again after stop blogging for the past 1week plus I think? Today is the second last day of my 3rd period stay-in at the hospital, tomorrow can go home and I will be left with one final period to complete the entire medicine study! Seriously I can't wait to end all the period soon, staying in a aircon room 24/7 is seriously not my kind of thing, I need sun to make me feel like I am living normally. haha..

Last week after I finish my second period, it will a super busy week for me. I got like three birthday dinner, one BBQ, one day event, one concert and one farewell party that all happens in the period of 5 days that I spent outside!

Well.. Actually this week is isn't much better too, Wed having another party, thurs got PCB, fri got day event, Sat got my own food race, I think I only left with sun and mon which has nothing on for now.. I can't believe I can be seriously this busy for this month, but I guess that is also a good thing for me as all the outings and stuff will keep me occupied and prevent me from anyhow think again.

Currently the response for the food race is still quite bad, only got two confirmed team at the moment, haiz.. I wonder is it even a good choice I make in creating this food race event.. hmm..hopefully when the day comes, it will be much better bah..

Monday, November 1, 2010

Tonight is a good night?

Another day has come to an end, less then 2 days I will finish my 2nd period of my medicine study.. This mean that another 9days is going to pass soon and I wonder for the past 8days that I stay here, did I spent it fruitfully? Food for thoughts..

My mood been going up and down today, somehow I am still recovering from the "shock" that I received yesterday, it did required me to take some time to totally recovered from it. Of all the girlfriends that I had before, I must say seriously only a few leave deep impact in my heart. No doubt each girlfriends did leave some memories in me, but some seriously have craved a deep impact in me that everytime as and when I will start to think about it. I already got eunice and yuanshan leave a very deep impression in me, now I got one more to the list, chenyin.

I believe in every past relationships make me a stronger person in the next relationship and able to handle it better, apparently I still got a long long way to go.. I suppose I am more of a lover material then a boyfriend material, coz I never fail to upset all the girlfriend that I had before. Just like when chenyin say that I am worse than her ex boyfriend, Max. Even though she only mention it once in the sms during our quarrel, but that indeed hurt me alot during that time and untill now it still hurt me alittle. I always thought that I treat my girlfriend quite well, untill chenyin say I am worse than Max, it seriously make me reflect alot at that time. Knowing how her ex boyfriend used to treat or sometime even abuse her, I can't believe she actually think that I m worse than him, I guess this really show how bad of a boyfriend I am.

I often make alot of promises to my girlfriend, some I achieved it and some end up as empty promises.. Everytime when I think back I seriously think what chenyin said is probably correct, I always disappoint her and giving her empty promises etc, she came into my life at the lowest point, pull me up and provide me all the support that she could, yet I didnt fulfilled alot of my promises and give her so much unhappiness in the relationship. Everytime when I think back, it just make me feel so much guilty and feel like a total jerk.

Its too late to say anything now, I am still trying to get over you, really.. I don't know how and when will I start to get a good night sleep without regrets and disappointments.. haiz..